Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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