whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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