well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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