The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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