i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize