Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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