i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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