That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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