A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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