I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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