Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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