Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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