xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You took a bar mat shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize