the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
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Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
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i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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