She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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