Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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