i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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