So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
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listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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