I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
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So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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