ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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