Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize