I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize