If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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