So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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