doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize