dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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