Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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