Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
why is half of my head shaved?
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