So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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