You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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