how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize