I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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