someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize