Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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