you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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