I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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