So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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