I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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