Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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