we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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