remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize