Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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