I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
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I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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