Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize