Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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