it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize