What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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