Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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