I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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