So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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