Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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