We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you will always have a special place in my vag
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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